deekistheman
New member
Some of you have heard this story before but I have never put it in writing....so here goes. Long read, but enjoyable...well sorta. 
Prologue...
Ok its just a normal spring day like any other day in Atlanta. Lucas, Crevossk, my gf (at the time), and myself are all at a Braves' night game. At the end of the game I get the bright idea that I wanted to have sex with my gf in the backseat of her car while Lucas & Crevossk drove us home. I brought this idea up with my gf who, to my suprise, suprisingly & enthusiastically said yes. I then asked Crevossk & Lucas if they wouldnt mind driving the Jetta home while me and my gf made our own "highway to heaven." They said yes but only as long as they did not see my balls.
SO of course Crevossk thought it was funny (as did myself) to pull side by side with every single car on Highway 75 to show them the 'back-seat wrestling match' that was taking on in the back seat. Its not like we were hiding either...we were doing it in fully glory cause everyone needs free porn since the internet is so way overpriced.
The Beginning of the Feud...
So after finishing up in the car my and my gf started to put our clothes back when Lucas starts making smart-ass wise cracks towards me and my gf. He does it to the point to where I get so pissed off I say "If you dont shut up, I'm gonna wipe my jizz on your head!" Well Lucas decides to call my bluff and smart off one more time. I wasnt bluffing. You shoulda seen him squirm to find a napkin to get it off the back of his head. He eventually found my gf's insurance card in her glovebox and used that.
What does Lucas do?
Well a couple weeks went by and during that time it had been my claim to fame to tell everyone the story. Also, it meant that I had something on him and he couldnt win anything cause I would say "Yeah, well I own you. You got my jizz on your head," and that would pretty much be the end of any argument. Well little did I know that Lucas was waiting for the right moment to strike. I threw a big party in the back of my parent's yard (the backyard is 6 acres) complete with bonfire, tons of beer, tents, etc. We all got hammered and passed out. Lucas didnt stay passed out for long cause he had to leave early in the morning. Still half drunk he went to go piss on something. He saw my crappy 1985 Ford Bronco II and decided that was perfect. When he got closer he saw that my front window was down and decided "JACKPOT!" He then proceeded to piss all over my seat, steering wheel, floor board, shifter knob, radio, etc. I was so hammered I wok up at like 1 o'clock, which was plenty of time to let it dry...well most of it at least. Later I got in the Bronco and went for a drive and just decided that the moisture in the truck was just some left over morning dew.
When to break the news to me?
6 months Later, thats when. Crevossk, Lucas, and myself decided to go visit Beastacca over at UGA for a big Halloween party. Crevossk was a hitman, Lucas was a swat team dude, and I was an Evil Viking Sex Warrior. I wore a red man-thong, a viking helmet, viking pelt, viking bracers, sandals, and I had a 5ft long wood pole with a 18inch dildo on the end of it. But you say "Vix that sounds gay." Well, I had a lot of people that night tell me that but I was prepared for it. Anytime someone told me "dude you got a dildo on a pole, thats gay" I would THUMP them in the forehead with it giving them a huge mushroom tattoo. Pretty soon people started leaving me alone lol. During the party Lucas & Beastacca get me to tell the story (see the prologue) but after I finish Lucas says this...
"Yeah and you know what?!? You have been dreiving around in my PISS for the last 7 months! I peed in your Bronco the night you had the graduation party and you have driven in it ever since! Oh and I know you have not washed it because you have always said there was no point! So Ha! How does it feel?!"
The anger inside me was brewing
My jaw was on the floor. Here I was standing in a red man-thong with viking gear on and a dildo staff and I'm being made a fool of. I mean I dont care if I make a fool of myself but I hate it when someone else gets the best of me...especially when I am in a ridiculous outfit like that. God I was angry, no furious. I wanted to kill that son of a bitch. He had waited 6 months to tell me all the while every time I made my comment about my jizz on his head he was secretly laughing at me. I had to do something drastic and vile. I plotted and waited for my opportunity to strike. I kept feeding Lucas shots and beers getting him hammered. I got him so drunk that he passed in the indian-style position hunched over, drooling. Me, still in my Evil Viking Sex Warrior outfit stood over him, pulled out my dougan and piseed all over his head, neck, shoulders, back, ears, and mouth. I emptied about 10 beers worth of piss onto that kid. He never woke up during the whole thing. Later, people just thought he stank cause he didnt shower and sweated A LOT. Boy were they wrong. Funny thing is, he went on a date the next day and never knew the difference.
The End?
I know by now that he has heard of what I did to him, in fact I kinda planned on it. After seeing the episode of South Park where Cartman makes Scott Tennerman eat his own parents I got a great idea for "insurance from further embarrassment." I told all his friends the story and asked them not to tell him (knowing they would). Because I visited him one day and used his restroom. While in there I thought to myself "my 'brown eye' sure is itching like crazy...I need to scratch it with something. What do I see? his toothbrush. Yup I wiped my ass with his toothbrush. I did that to get one up on him incase he did something even worse to me for peeing on his head. I'm willing to end this disgusting feud if he is, but Im not going out without the last jab. If he does top me, I will probably crap down his throat or get a 3-man slingshot filled with turds...and hit him point blank in the face (or chest) with it.
Moral of the Story?
Don't fuck with Vix.h34r:
A Tale of Horrific Revenge
Prologue...
Ok its just a normal spring day like any other day in Atlanta. Lucas, Crevossk, my gf (at the time), and myself are all at a Braves' night game. At the end of the game I get the bright idea that I wanted to have sex with my gf in the backseat of her car while Lucas & Crevossk drove us home. I brought this idea up with my gf who, to my suprise, suprisingly & enthusiastically said yes. I then asked Crevossk & Lucas if they wouldnt mind driving the Jetta home while me and my gf made our own "highway to heaven." They said yes but only as long as they did not see my balls.
SO of course Crevossk thought it was funny (as did myself) to pull side by side with every single car on Highway 75 to show them the 'back-seat wrestling match' that was taking on in the back seat. Its not like we were hiding either...we were doing it in fully glory cause everyone needs free porn since the internet is so way overpriced.The Beginning of the Feud...
So after finishing up in the car my and my gf started to put our clothes back when Lucas starts making smart-ass wise cracks towards me and my gf. He does it to the point to where I get so pissed off I say "If you dont shut up, I'm gonna wipe my jizz on your head!" Well Lucas decides to call my bluff and smart off one more time. I wasnt bluffing. You shoulda seen him squirm to find a napkin to get it off the back of his head. He eventually found my gf's insurance card in her glovebox and used that.
What does Lucas do?
Well a couple weeks went by and during that time it had been my claim to fame to tell everyone the story. Also, it meant that I had something on him and he couldnt win anything cause I would say "Yeah, well I own you. You got my jizz on your head," and that would pretty much be the end of any argument. Well little did I know that Lucas was waiting for the right moment to strike. I threw a big party in the back of my parent's yard (the backyard is 6 acres) complete with bonfire, tons of beer, tents, etc. We all got hammered and passed out. Lucas didnt stay passed out for long cause he had to leave early in the morning. Still half drunk he went to go piss on something. He saw my crappy 1985 Ford Bronco II and decided that was perfect. When he got closer he saw that my front window was down and decided "JACKPOT!" He then proceeded to piss all over my seat, steering wheel, floor board, shifter knob, radio, etc. I was so hammered I wok up at like 1 o'clock, which was plenty of time to let it dry...well most of it at least. Later I got in the Bronco and went for a drive and just decided that the moisture in the truck was just some left over morning dew.
When to break the news to me?
6 months Later, thats when. Crevossk, Lucas, and myself decided to go visit Beastacca over at UGA for a big Halloween party. Crevossk was a hitman, Lucas was a swat team dude, and I was an Evil Viking Sex Warrior. I wore a red man-thong, a viking helmet, viking pelt, viking bracers, sandals, and I had a 5ft long wood pole with a 18inch dildo on the end of it. But you say "Vix that sounds gay." Well, I had a lot of people that night tell me that but I was prepared for it. Anytime someone told me "dude you got a dildo on a pole, thats gay" I would THUMP them in the forehead with it giving them a huge mushroom tattoo. Pretty soon people started leaving me alone lol. During the party Lucas & Beastacca get me to tell the story (see the prologue) but after I finish Lucas says this...
"Yeah and you know what?!? You have been dreiving around in my PISS for the last 7 months! I peed in your Bronco the night you had the graduation party and you have driven in it ever since! Oh and I know you have not washed it because you have always said there was no point! So Ha! How does it feel?!"
The anger inside me was brewing
My jaw was on the floor. Here I was standing in a red man-thong with viking gear on and a dildo staff and I'm being made a fool of. I mean I dont care if I make a fool of myself but I hate it when someone else gets the best of me...especially when I am in a ridiculous outfit like that. God I was angry, no furious. I wanted to kill that son of a bitch. He had waited 6 months to tell me all the while every time I made my comment about my jizz on his head he was secretly laughing at me. I had to do something drastic and vile. I plotted and waited for my opportunity to strike. I kept feeding Lucas shots and beers getting him hammered. I got him so drunk that he passed in the indian-style position hunched over, drooling. Me, still in my Evil Viking Sex Warrior outfit stood over him, pulled out my dougan and piseed all over his head, neck, shoulders, back, ears, and mouth. I emptied about 10 beers worth of piss onto that kid. He never woke up during the whole thing. Later, people just thought he stank cause he didnt shower and sweated A LOT. Boy were they wrong. Funny thing is, he went on a date the next day and never knew the difference.
The End?
I know by now that he has heard of what I did to him, in fact I kinda planned on it. After seeing the episode of South Park where Cartman makes Scott Tennerman eat his own parents I got a great idea for "insurance from further embarrassment." I told all his friends the story and asked them not to tell him (knowing they would). Because I visited him one day and used his restroom. While in there I thought to myself "my 'brown eye' sure is itching like crazy...I need to scratch it with something. What do I see? his toothbrush. Yup I wiped my ass with his toothbrush. I did that to get one up on him incase he did something even worse to me for peeing on his head. I'm willing to end this disgusting feud if he is, but Im not going out without the last jab. If he does top me, I will probably crap down his throat or get a 3-man slingshot filled with turds...and hit him point blank in the face (or chest) with it.
Moral of the Story?
Don't fuck with Vix.
h34r:
