So how things went tonight with the young lady I had mentioned

Timi

Timi

New member
We spent the entire day together and it was a lot harder then I thought it would be. We went to lunch and as anyone who isn't in the war they would be interested in hearing things from the front line, but I didn't want to touch on that and at least keep things "at home" so to speak, so I didn't bombard her with questions (and no pun intended). All she wanted to do was talk about Iraq, so I just let her speak, vent, and hear what was going on.

She's stationed in Baghdad, so shes in the middle of it, and I heard things that even being a police officer I thought good lord. She was afraid that the US citizens hated the military and I ashured her that all the civies are 200% behind the soldiers and not to worry about any backlash. She wanted to do some Christmas shopping for her family, so I took her to the mall, but she was really uncomfortable in a massively crowded setting and was watching over her shoulder every five seconds. I did my best to assure her that she has nothing to worry about, but thats next to impossible for what shes been through. We went to a Jeweler shop to get some stuff for her mom and sisters and of course the guy helping us was of Middle Eastern decent. All I could think was good God, please don't attack him (and if anyone is of Middle Eastern deccent, please do not take this as offense). The sales person would reach out to her from time to time and she would get real defensive and he would look at me like, I'm sorry! I just explained to him without going into detail she doesn't like contact from people she doesn't know.

You see this kind of stuff on TV and it never really hits you until you meet someone in person and actually see them from a war zone environment to home. It was hard to take in, but at the same time understandable, but just really hard to see.

Ok sorry for the diatribe, just needed to think outloud.
 
have fun man. i know how it is to be around changed people after certain incidents, and a lot of the time it's not pretty. if you want it though, keep at it, don't give up. if you think, this is too much for me to handle, it is. however, if you don't let yourself think that, you'll do just fine
 
What Zampy said... Also, sounds like you're doing a good thing in just being there for her to vent. She'll always appreciate that.
 
agreed. you're being a crying shoulder for her, a punching bag of sorts for her to take out her aggression on, and a crutch for her. it'll take longer than just going straight up i wanna sleep with you tactics, being a watchful guardian and helping hand, but in the end it's a hell of a lot more rewarding
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Zampy @ Dec 17 2005, 06:12 PM) [snapback]13423[/snapback][/center]
agreed. you're being a crying shoulder for her, a punching bag of sorts for her to take out her aggression on, and a crutch for her. it'll take longer than just going straight up i wanna sleep with you tactics, being a watchful guardian and helping hand, but in the end it's a hell of a lot more rewarding
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I know you don't mean how it came out Zampy, but just to clarify I'm not looking to get in her pants. Shes a good person and is doing something I think about every day. I could watch "Black Hawk Down" for the millionth time, Band of Brothers, Over there, or anything, but it will not compare to the actual thing. I will admit that it got me thinking a lot and that is getting my ass back in shape and going back into the police force. I enjoyed protecting and serving, albeit not in the same magnitude as Iraq, but i really feel I need to get my ass up and doing something for my fellow man.
 
If she is that bad where someone reaching out to her makes her recoil, it's very likely she has PTSD. She should seek out help.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(reek @ Dec 17 2005, 02:24 AM) [snapback]13435[/snapback][/center]
If she is that bad where someone reaching out to her makes her recoil, it's very likely she has PTSD. She should seek out help.
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that's a good point
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(reek @ Dec 17 2005, 06:24 PM) [snapback]13435[/snapback][/center]
If she is that bad where someone reaching out to her makes her recoil, it's very likely she has PTSD. She should seek out help.
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Shes admitted that and we have talked about it. She's deffinitly going to do something about it. She told me about her parents talking to her the other night and it got to where she would see their lips move, but all she heard were the clanging of the dishes and silverware. She said her mom looked at her and asked if she was alright and is concerned for her and she knew that she needed to do something about it.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Zampy @ Dec 17 2005, 02:12 AM) [snapback]13423[/snapback][/center]
agreed. you're being a crying shoulder for her, a punching bag of sorts for her to take out her aggression on, and a crutch for her. it'll take longer than just going straight up i wanna sleep with you tactics, being a watchful guardian and helping hand, but in the end it's a hell of a lot more rewarding
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When ever I have been a crutch to someone they just get rid of me when they are feeling better(convenently just like a real crutch), yikes.... the pain associated with that.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Whewa @ Dec 17 2005, 06:27 PM) [snapback]13441[/snapback][/center]
When ever I have been a crutch to someone they just get rid of me when they are feeling better(convenently just like a real crutch), yikes.... the pain associated with that.
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Well I think a crutch in the association of the meaning in this situation is different then the general use of the word.
 
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Whewa @ Dec 17 2005, 02:27 AM) [snapback]13441[/snapback][/center]
When ever I have been a crutch to someone they just get rid of me when they are feeling better(convenently just like a real crutch), yikes.... the pain associated with that.
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I agree to an extent. But, when you're in a serious relationship (i've been married for... well... forever it seems) a primary roll will be acting as a crutch. But, I have been the crutch that's been thrown away as well. And that does REALLY suck.
 
Just remember timi, that the strongest relationships are ones that can last though the rough times.
 
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