Funny stories!

[zanaiomih]

Mikalale's 'story thread' kind of inspired me on this one.
Do you know any fonny stories? Lets hear 'em! ^_^

A friends recently sent this to me in Swedish, I'll try to translate it:

A man was standning naked infront of a mirror, looking poudly at himself - flexing it. He says to his wife with a cocky attitude:
- This babe, is a 100% dynamite!
The wife looks at him some what uninterested, and not that impressed:
- Well dear, isn't it dangerous to play with such a short fuse?

 

[Tiveria]

A minister was completing a
Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I
Had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river."


Sermon complete, he sat down.




The song leader stood very cautiously and announced



With a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song,



Let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

 

[zanaiomih]

*Giggles* ^_^

Come on peaople, don't you have any funny stories? B) ^_^

 

[Madrigal]

Okay, so American Idol is having their auditions.
Simon, Paula and Randy are sitting behind the table waiting for the next act.

Then some guy walks in with his pregnant wife, his son, his daughter, a dog, a legless monkey with some kind of skin disease, a bag of maggots, a week old corpse, a potato peeler, a carton of salt, a jug of sushi vomit, uncleaned pig colons, a brick of rancid cheese and a bevy of medieval gynecological instruments.

"What up Dog?" Randy asks.

The guy says, "Hi, we all just had a huge freaking lunch... Mexican, and we have to use the restroom real bad."

Paula says "If you like, you can use our restroom in back before we get started."

"Hehe. That won't be necessary," he says with a sly grin. He turns to his family, "Okay gang, are we ready?"

Simon stops them. "Wait. What's your act called?"

He turns back to Simon and curtsies.

"The Aristocrats."

 

[Magama]

oh gawd

 

[zanaiomih]