Crying
Men hate it when women cry. It's not that we feel sorry for them, it's that we don't know what to do while they're crying. The amount of comforting a man must feign to make her stop seems completely arbitrary; how much is enough? When women start to cry, men feel trapped. Some men feel like there's something they could be doing to make the woman stop, and feel obligated to stay until she does. That's why it's important to nip the problem in the bud before it even gets to that point. Here's what you can do to stop a woman from crying before she even starts, or at least minimize the wailing when she does:
- Have her walk it off. No feelings can be so wounded that a couple of laps around the block can't fix.
- Give her ice cream. All women love comfort foods when they feel down, and those foods are usually fattening. So she'll gain a few more pounds, no big deal. The reason she feels bad in the first place is because you don't want to be seen with her fat ass anyway. Win-win.
- Tell her to find religion.
- Wehip out your penis in front of her; all women are delighted to see a man's genitals. Or at the very least, she'll be concerned that you're thinking of your cock in her time of suffering and she will be too frightened to continue.
One time I dumped a woman, and she didn't take it too well. I told her to stop crying because I only had one roll of toilet paper left. This only made her cry more, so I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. When she came downstairs to see what I was doing, she had snot running down her nose, so I lost my appetite. Of course, I asked her to reimburse me for the cost of the sandwich that I was no longer going to eat, at which point she exploded even louder. It seemed like no matter what I did, she'd keep crying and begging me to take her back. I finally got tierd of it, so I told her that if she took my videos back to the rental store, we could talk. By the time she came back, I had turned off the lights and pretended I wasn't home.
Every time a woman starts to cry, a silent timer starts to tick inside a man's head. As each second passes, the man begins to wonder when it's safe to go back to playing video games. The reason men don't know what to do when women start to cry is because our natural response is to treat the woman like a child; does she want milk? Does she need to be burped? Did she eat somethiing off the floor that upset her stomach? This reaction is natural because adults don't cry. So when an adult does something that a child does, the only suitable response is to treat her like a child.[/b]
